


Step Back From That Ledge

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 05:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair's thoughts on Jim's strange behavior and Jim's thoughts at *the* fountain</p>
            </blockquote>





	Step Back From That Ledge

Disclaimer: The Guys belong to Pet Fly  
and UPN. No money is being made from this story. The song is definetely  
not mine either, it belongs to Third Eye Blind. If you sue all you'll get  
is the right to pay back my student loans.

Warnings: Lots of angst, No happy ending, language 

Note: i kept listening to this song over and over, cause i really liked the lyrics and it just hit me how it might be about Jim and Blair. i love Third Eye Blind and they have great angsty lyrics to their songs. The lyrics to the one that inspired this story are at the bottom. This is my first attempt so any response is *greatly* appreciated 

Summary:Blair's thoughts on Jim's strange behavior and Jim's thoughts at *the* fountain   
  

Step Back From That Ledge  


by

DEVAD

Jim's been acting really strange lately. It started a while ago but I didn't notice it right away. Now I think maybe its too late. I hope it isn't though. I'd hate to lose my best friend. I wish he would step back from that Ledge. I wish I knew what to say to pull him back. I'm the guide I should know these things. But seeing him on the edge like that really scares me. 

He's on the edge of his sanity. He's been getting closer to the edge for a while now, but like I said before, I didn't notice right away. Stupid Stupid Stupid. That first week when he was home from the hospital, I thought he was just being grumpy because he hates being sick or hurt. But it was the first sign and I missed it. 

He's started to get angrier too. One night I came home and he had a gun pointed at me, again, another sign I missed. But then he started getting crazy too. He threw a tantrum in the bullpen, just because people were using his desk. I mean I know some people like their privacy but this is ridiculous. A bit too crazy, biting people's heads off because they put some papers on his desk.Jim usually lets other people start fights, he may finish them but, he rarely instigates.He got way too loud for something that petty. 

But even before then, he threw me out. That was my first big clue that something was wrong. I *knew* something was wrong, but I was distracted, I let him shut me out. It was like he was hurting deep inside and he didn't want anyone to know, but at the same time he was calling out for help. Only I missed his S.O.S. So he kept moving closer and closer to the edge. 

Then I betrayed him and that's what's got him almost over. I'm sorry Jim. I'm sorry I lied to you. Please just come back from that ledge. You don't have to see me anymore if you don't want to. I know I hurt you so I understand. And you don't have to be part of the dissertation either, I know that you always hated being a research subject. So you could stop having me around. Then you wouldn't have to lie anymore. You wouldn't have to lie to people about why I'm around, you wouldn't have to lie to me about how you really feel. Please just don't go over that ledge into insanity. If you do no one will be able to bring you back. I know there's a lot about you're past that you wish you could forget, like the fact that I hurt you, but just put it behind you. I'll walk away and you'll never have to see me again. So come back from that ledge. Because I'm afraid that if you go over it you might go over into not just insanity but death. I couldn't handle that. I care about you too much. I love you too much. So like I said, step back from the ledge, Put the past away, stop living a lie. I'll understand if you don't want to see me again. After all I'd rather that you were alive and well without me, than to know that I was the reason you were gone. It would hurt to much if you were lost. If you went over that ledge you wouldn't be the Jim Ellison I loved. 

******************************************************************************

Chief, Oh god Chief please don't die. It can't happen. You have to come back from that ledge Chief. Its all my fault that you're there I know that, but please, you have to come back now. They think you're already gone Chief, they want me to give up on you but I can't. So you have to step back from the Ledge. You have to give them a sign that you're still there. They're giving up on you Chief. They don't know what they're doing. But I know Chief. Everyone one else is giving up, but I never will. I know I hurt you. I'm sorry for that, god i'm so sorry. I just, I didn't know what was going on, I was out of control, and I was afraid to ask for help. I know you would have helped, even if I didn't ask you for it. But I was scared to admit I was losing it. Even to you. I know you thought I trusted you with everything, and when kept this from you I really hurt you. I don't know how to make it up to you. Please just step back from that Ledge. 

If you don't want to see me again, I'll understand, I know I really betrayed your trust. I know that you hated living the lie you did too. Not being able to tell anyone why we're really working together. Lying to your mom and friends about why you're always hanging around a cop. You could stop. You have enough information for your dissertation. You don't have to live in this lie anymore. You could go back to your own life. You could put the past three years behind you. Just face down your demons and turn in your dissertation, you know its already good enough. Just stop being afraid of failing, then you'll have your PhD and you can forget all about me and the lie you lived. All you have to do is step back from that ledge. I couldn't go on if I knew that you were dead. That you were dead because of me. So evn if you never see me again, I have to know you're alive safe somewhere. I'd step back for you. 

Jumper by Third Eye Blind 

(Blair to Jim) I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, you could cut ties with all the lies, That you've been living in, And if you do not want to see me again I would Understand. I would understand. The angry Boy a bit tooo insane, Icing over a secret pain, You know you don't belong, You're the first to fight, You're way too loo loud, You're the flash of light on the burial shroud, I know something's wrong, Well everyone i know has got a reason to sy, Put the Past away 

(Jim to Blair) I wish you would step back from that Ledge my friend, You could, Cut ties with all the lies, That you've been living in, And if you do not want to see me again I would understand. I would Understand. We'll he's on the table, And he's gone to code, And I do not think anyone knows, What they are doing here, And Your friends have left, You've been dismissed, I never thought it would come to this, And I, I want you to know, Everyone's got to face down the demons,, Maybe today, We could put the past away, i wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, you could, Cut ties with all the lies that you've been livin' in, And if you do not want to see me again, i would understand, I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, i would understand....... 

End 


End file.
